MONDAY 14-5-18

We were up in good time for a nice hot shower before making the vehicle ready for the road, which didn't take too long as I'd done most of it last night. Then it was up to the dump station to get rid of the black and grey waters and take on some fresh. I was to do that whilst The Chef knocked on the owners door and paid him.

That was the first problem of the day - he wasn't at home, and more importantly he had Rosina's passport as security, so we couldn't put the money we owed in an envelope and leave it. We were worried that he'd be away for hours, and we had a ferry to catch. He had displayed an emergency mobile phone number as a contact and we were about to try that when he appeared. We paid him for five nights at €15.00 a night including electricity, which was very reasonable.

Next we were off to a Co-op supermarket, about three miles out of town to stock right up before we arrived in Greece (I get the locations of these supermarkets off Google Maps). Off we went along bumpy rural roads, only to discover upon our arrival, that it was indeed a Co-op, but not a Co-op supermarket, but a growers co-operative for olive oil processing.

I was getting a bit concerned about the time, and we decided to make for Brindisi Port whilst looking out for a supermarket along the way. True to form of course, we didn't come across any, and before we knew it we were in the port complex, so no shopping today.

Getting the tickets was pretty straightforward. I had written the details on a piece of paper in Italian, thanks to Google Translate. Then it was back to the vehicle to kill about an hour before we made our way to the ferry loading area. For lunch we settled for a piece of cold pizza each from the cafeteria area at the port terminal. Needless to say, it was not in the plan. We were supposed to have had something more substantial and make up a pack-up to take onboard, but of course we hadn't been shopping.

We were squeezed on to an HGV deck of what turned out NOT to be a Roll-On-Roll-Off ferry, so the lorries were having to do 'U' turns on the deck before they could park up.

The interior of the ferry was very much like the Dover to Calais ships, but at least on them you're only on there for an hour and a half, we were stuck on ours for a whole eight hours. We spent most of the time between reading and snoozing just to pass the time. Needless to say it was a long and boring crossing. We decided to have a toasted sandwich and a drink from the cafeteria onboard. So it was two warm, dry bread ham and cheese sandwiches at €4 each and a €3 can of Coke for me.

Thankfully we arrived here safely in Igoumenitsa, in the top left hand corner of Greece. Needless to say the roads look familiar, but we're parked on a Camperstop which just happens to be in the car back at the back of a supermarket (GPS: N39.512732 E20.257490).

Tomorrow we shall discover what it is they sell in Greek supermarkets.

SUNDAY 13-5-18

We were awoken at 06:45 by what sounded like a couple of large, very loud continually barking dogs down on the beach, and by the time we'd dropped off again it was time for the grizzly kids to wake up at 07:45.

Like the Royal Navy's Submarine Service during the Cold War, as covered in the book I'm reading 'The Silent Deep', we had infiltrated the enemies territory and were gaining intelligence. For us it was how Italian families spend a weekend by the sea. The German motorhomers knew better and all left late Friday. I think we are the only 'foreigners' here now, surrounded by Italians.

We seem to have been objects of interest during our stay here, especially when we're seen around the local town carrying our shopping, and here at the campsite today when they notice the vehicles GB registration  plate.

During our month here in Italy we've found the Italians to be generally friendly and helpful, and thankfully many of them have an understanding of some English, but then we have been visiting many tourists hotspots. I don't think we'd have much chance of being understood around here. It's very rural with probably only agriculture and the Mafia as sources of income. The irritating thing is they're so damned loud. But I think I'm getting the hang of their language - you just add an 'o' to the end of everything. I bet the salad vegetable started off as a 'Tomat' until the Italians got their hands on it, and now it's the 'Tomato'.

This is now the end of our visit to Italy, God-willing we'll be on a ferry to Greece tomorrow. I won't be sorry to leave, but it's been interesting. It was nice to see some of the tourist attractions for myself. Frankly you can keep Rome, too crowded by far. I quite liked Florence, and was surprised at how walkable it was. The most concerning thing was who they issued guns to in the city. There were numerous uniformed individuals standing around in pairs who I can only liken to the St Johns Ambulance Brigade back home. Public spirited individuals, who have a uniform, but because the members come in all shapes and sizes, they never look smart, never quite look as if you'd want to put your life in their hands given the choice. Now imagine that same motley band walking towards you with their pouch of dressings on one side of their belts and on the other - a GUN. Do you feel safe now?

The Chef liked Siena, and I'm sorry we didn't stay there the following day which would have enabled us to go back in to town for another look around.

My favourite location was Pisa. I think it was because we arrived there so early and were able to enjoy the main tourist hot spots before all the tourist coaches arrived. What I will always remember is the amazing acoustics in the Baptistry, when one of the ticket checkers at the door stood in the centre of the floor and chanted - just wonderful. Yet again though, just before leaving town the following morning we popped back down to the local supermarket where we saw the young supermarket security man carrying a pistol. Scary, but I guess it means they have a zero tolerance policy for shoplifting.

The toll roads have been a refreshing surprise as the charges for using them have been quite reasonable, and I for one wouldn't have journeyed through Italy without using them given the disgraceful condition of many of the normal roads. I have no idea how long a set of tyres or shock absorbers last over here.

The cops are a joke. They see what they want to see and enforce nothing. They drive around the cities one handed whilst making mobile phone calls with the other, so it's unlikely they'll be pulling anybody over for using a mobile phone any time soon.

My morning look at the BBC News website bought a smile to my face. The Sunday Express had as its headline 'Elderly Will Be Cared For By Robots'.  Couple that with an article that caught my eye before we came away:

Daily Mail April 7th:

High Tech sex robots could be owned by hundreds of people in the UK within a year an expert has predicted.

Dr Kate Devlin thinks they may be bought by couples as well. ‘These robots will be bought by people who have a fettish but also by people who have a relationship but their partner is not willing or able to have sex with them’.

Now put those two together and life in an old folks home in the future just might be worth a look.

This afternoon was spent sat watching some of the Neanderthals making fire on one of the provided barbecue points, which unfortunately was right across from us. They used what looked like wood and twigs scavenged from the beach, which smoked pretty badly and was most unpleasant when the wind changed and blew our way.

We remain stuck between two motorhomes of the same family. Still at least we can say we met Italian riff-raff before we left the country.

Tonight we are to enjoy a nice piece of steak which we bought out with us, together with roasted potatoes, vegetables and garlic (can't waste them!) plus some salad.

Fortunately we had a dramatic turn of events between 19:00 and 20:00 in that the Italians followed their normal practice of turning turn up somewhere Friday evening, let their bloody kids make a nuisance of themselves and then go home Sunday evening.

This means that our knuckle-dragging Pikey neighbours have gone home along with everybody else, and suddenly we have peace.

Tomorrow we're off to Greece. If Italy is the 'boot' of Europe with its sole and heel shape, then Greece is what the boot trod in and is trying to wipe off on the grass verge.

Our intelligence gathering mission here in Italy is complete.

Down periscope.

SATURDAY 12-5-18

We woke in good time to greet another lovely warm sunny day. We've just another couple of days relaxing like this before we head off for Greece. I say relax, but our first job was to walk in to the local town around the bay to try and buy some fresh vegetables, and we wanted to set out before it started to get to hot.

As the tide was in, blocking our passage along the beach we walked along the road which was a longer route, but at least we wouldn't get our feet wet. I made sure I took my sunglasses and hat, as I had been advised during a recent eye test, with two pairs of polarised driving glasses thrown in, that I had very early signs of a cataract in one eye, so I've calculated that the price of a pair of sunglasses is cheaper than buying a white stick and regular dog food.

 It took two attempts at two different stores to get even the most basic of items. I thought I'd touched lucky and found some large spring onions, but upon our return we trimmed the excess foliage off to discover that I'd selected three fresh garlic bulbs. Never mind, the plan was to have a stir-fry this evening and we could use some up in that. After all it would only be Italians we would be breathing over, if anybody.

It's now much busier on the campsite today with Italian families turning up with their noisy kids, never mind we'll soon be on the move again.

Checking the BBC News website, I see that, back home, the country continues to go to the dogs. Firstly Royal Bank of Scotland has announced large-scale branch closures and job losses in England and Wales. This is one of the banks which was saved from collapse by British taxpayers, sure as hell not Scottish. Since the taxpayer remains the largest shareholder in this and other rescued banks, why isn't there a government seat on the Board of Directors to ensure that the interests of the taxpayer come first, and that includes the award of bonuses earned for continued failure.

Secondly, St Wilfreds Primary School in Blyth, Northumberland has banned pencil cases to stop poorer children being stigmatised. So presumably children can now take their pencils to school in a carrier bag, just so long it's a Primark or Oxfam bag and not Harrods or Waitrose.

Zer Sviss av left und now ve haff Italiano's. Caught between two motorhomes of the same family. They've got a very young kid, so hopefully they won't be staying up late outside talking rubbish and making a noise. If they do they can listen to our telly and DVD player in return.

As I type, The Chef is creating a stir fry which will include some interesting ingredients, like chopped garlic bulbs instead of spring onions, dried noodles, a tin of bean shoots, and some chopped small cucumber because the greengrocer gave us four instead of the two we asked for, and we've got to use them up somehow. The joys of motorhoming.

Finally can somebody please explain to me how AUSTRALIA qualifies to enter the Eurovision Song Contest?

FRIDAY 11-5-18

We had a lovely peaceful night's sleep again last night, whilst enjoying nice fresh clean bedding and the summer-weight duvet. We'd postponed changing it because we've had some unstable weather of late, and were fearful it would turn cold again.

Yesterday I half filled the fresh water tank to be used for showers, washing up and loo flushing. I don't put too much in unless we're 'on the road' because that way I can empty the tank sooner and put fresh water in.

This morning The Chef said that she thought the water tasted a bit salty when she cleaned her teeth, as I was next in the bathroom I checked it and - yes, it was salty water. I had foolishly made an assumption about which campsite tap supplied the drinking water, and I got it wrong. So this morning's first job was to drain what little was left in the fresh water tank, followed by the ten litres in the boiler. Once drained it had to all be flushed through before I could think of refilling.

Once  I had established the location of the fresh water tap, which happened to be up near the entrance, about 150 yards away, I began shuttling ten-litre watering-can's full back to the motorhome. The owner, having watched me carry the first six, then decided to tell me in Italian that there was a fresh water tap against the boundary wall, just a stone's throw from the back of the vehicle. So lesson learned there - always check the water before filling the tank.

So today it was my turn to be on the naughty stool.

We had a nice lazy morning. We'd decided yesterday to take a long walk around the bay to Torre Canne where we thought we might be able to pick up some fresh fruit and vegetables, but hey, this is Italy, and having walked all the way there the few shops that were in the village, including the greengrocers were closed. I assumed they'd all gone for a nice lie down.

Next door vee haff der elderly Sviss people wiff der caravan. Der car haff der surfboards on der roof. Maybe zay is der Hoff unt der Pammy from za Bayvatch. Yezturday zay shower in der public wiff der sea water unt vosh der privates when facing za vorl. Zen zay go in maybe for za bonking.

I think things could get quite busy here this weekend. Lots of bars and restaurants around the bay look as if they are about to reopen for a new summer season. We'll just have to hope it doesn't get too noisy, which is a lot to hope for with the Italians.

The Chef is creating this evenings culinary delight as I type. Such anticipation.

Chores day with washing undergoing a final dry and airing in the sunshine

Trulli houses